Comfortably Numb

“Life is what happens to you, while your busy making other plans,” John Lennon (1980)

This weekend I was put very much outside of my comfort zone. It was my twins 5th birthday party, and I had to become a children’s entertainer as well as a party host. Neither of these two roles do I particularly enjoy, and therefore I was not looking forward to the occasion leading up to it. However, I did not dwell on the reservations that I had and instead I focused on the party being a success, and ultimately the children going home happy. The party was a great success, with no major incidents and they all went home very happy. This made me think about the fear that accompanies the dread of stepping outside of your comfort zone, and how to some people this can be absolutely debilitating, and the reason that they would choose to avoid life rather than experience something new.

After all, this is what happens when you refuse to do things differently. You stagnate. You’re safe in your familiar world, and because you’ve been scared in the past when something’s changed, and this isn’t nice, you’ve learnt to avoid change in the future. The real twist is that the less you attempt to do different things, the harder it becomes when you need to. Bring on the anxiety, the panic attacks, the butterflies.

Life is about living, and making the most of that golden opportunity that we all have inside of us. Life is about experience and curiosity. It’s easy to stay where you are, but is that really living.

You build a wall around you to protect you from the bad things, but is that same wall preventing you from seeing the good things too?

The two main reasons that we all have, underneath the myriad of excuses, for not trying something different is fear of failure, and self-belief. Now, self-belief is an easy one; not because it’s easy to get over but because by definition it is something that you can change, with a little work. Fear of failure, however, ISN’T EVEN REAL. Fear = False Expectation About Reality. This is in your head and it hasn’t even happened yet. Why consume yourself with thoughts of how bad something will go, when you might as well just flip it on it’s head and concentrate on how well it’s going to go instead? What’s the worst that will happen?

Successful people have mastered how to control both of these two reasons. The instincts are natural, and everyone feels this way about moving out of their zone, but how you control them is the key. In NLP there is a principle; keep doing the same and get the same results, try something different and expect different results. Think today about how you want to feel in the future, what does your life look like and what can you hear? Then think of something different that you’ve never done before because of some reason, or other, that will get you to where you want to be, and then… just do it.

Please visit www.clearlantern.co.uk if you want advice on breaking out of your comfort zone.

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