I am an eternal optimist. I always have been. I am usually happy and I think that everything will turn out for the best eventually. I am most unhappy when I am not happy for long periods of time, and I hate the influence that other people have on my happiness.
One of the main drivers behind learning more and more about the fascinating power of the mind for me was to be able to control how I feel. I want to feel happy all of the time. Now, I am self-aware enough to realise that this is impossible, and you need darker moments to enjoy the light etc, but to be able to keep these to a minimum is what I’m after.
Optimism though is deeper than just this sense of feeling happy, it is a genuine, over-riding belief that things will work themselves out. It is a belief that everything will be great. Like I’ve said, I’ve always had this belief, ever since a young age. I was a happy child, and I have always perceived most things to have gone great, and it is now ingrained into my very soul. But you do have to work at it, especially when life’s tests come along. Sometimes you have to really concentrate on what the positive outcome could be in a situation, at times when giving up all hope seems a much better course to take.
Five years ago I was gifted a daughter, or in fact twins, a boy and a girl, but my daughter has severe special needs. Now this was a bolt out of the blue, there was no expectation of this and there was obviously a period of acceptance and recalibration needed. But then the optimist within me started to crawl out from its shelter and began to defeat the negative vibes that were threatening to consume me. I began thinking; so many couples aren’t fortunate enough to have children, so this is a blessing; in some master plan somewhere I have been given this responsibility because I can handle it; if you ever need a lesson in living in the now then try having a daughter with a life-threatening condition; she is still beautiful, and the feelings of pride that we have for her achievements are just the same as we have for our son’s.
This was a pretty big test as tests go. It has changed our life, and it will continue to do so. It makes you throw everything up in the air and re-map it all out. That life you thought you were going to have has to be re-considered. Along the journey I have seen many people crumble with the pressure of having to gather up the rug that has just been pulled from under them, and they have chosen not to accept the situation and it has eventually defeated them. This is just my personal situation, but you see the same thing in any life changing set of events, be it a death of a loved one, a sudden loss of job, or marriage. Any of these biggies where you have to recalibrate can make people throw the towel in. What’s the point?
These things that happen to us are the main parts of life, and how we react to them is what is known as living. Unexpectedness is life, we are all insignificant beings that are completely being knocked around by external influences. We all live in a world that is out of our control, and happiness will never come from being able to control it. Living is about being an optimist. You have to believe that everything will be alright, because otherwise you’re snookered.
Like I was saying, I have been an optimist for my whole life. It makes it sound as though I am a member of a cult, but it’s really not that scary. But the great thing about being an optimist is that everything has always turned out alright. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Oh wait, is he about to start going on about self-talk again? This is exactly what it is. You have a choice and the way I see it is you might as well choose to enjoy it.
If you’re not an optimist then be one soon. Here’s some steps to help:
– write down 3 positive things at the end of the day that have happened during that day. End on a good note.
– reframe negative events so that you can see a positive learning in them
– fake it before you make it. Act the way that you would like to act and the feelings will certainly follow.
– avoid negative self-talk, and if you notice you are doing it then just stop.
– SMILE. Seriously, it’s not that bad, there will always be someone worse off.
Share this link with people and begin to share the love. Happiness breeds happiness, and wouldn’t you rather make someone happy than sad.